The Secret to a Happy Home

From the well-to-do nutritionist:

First and foremost, I really feel strongly that everyone should have a live-in cleaning lady, and if that is difficult for some people then definitely every day.. Never raise your voice, always speak in a calm reassuring tone. In the morning, kids should NEVER eat cereal, they are terrible for them, rather they should have fresh fruit and veggie shakes filled with herbs and vitamins and ocean water. It is of utmost importance to set your husband's place at the table with fine bone china and receive him like a king as he walks in the door. Every night when you put your kids to bed, you should spend half an hour with each one rubbing their backs and talking to them about their day, with music on in the background to create a soothing atmosphere. Don't ever forget that you are the Akeres Habayis and must take care of yourself. Do yoga, buy yourself some new boots or a dress or a diamond. You are worth it and don't let yourself forget that.

 

 

From the Rebbetzin (she is also a Kalla teacher and Shadchan on the side), who's youngest child is thirty:

I believe that when your husband comes home from work at 6:00, the house should be clean, the kids should be well-cared for, and supper should be waiting hot on the table. The house should be Mesudar and the kids bathed. You know when I was younger, my husband used to come home at 7:00 and no one would help me but my house was still spotless. Oh and my kids never cried. And they didn't even have any toys! They had to play with a cardboard box. Yet, they made the best of every situation. That was the motto in our home: Be positive, make the best of it. When things were particularly challenging, I reminded myself that this is why Hakodosh Boroch Hu made women- to bear children and raise the next generation of Yidden so I did it with joy. Every time I changed a dirty diaper, I was doing a Mitzvah! Every sleepless night was like a gift to Hashem. Did I ever complain? Never! I had the Zchus to raise these beautiful Neshomos and I enjoyed every single minute of it. So that's my advice to you Maidelach: Do it with joy, love every minute of it, because before you know it they will be all grown up.

 

From the finanically challenged mom of 5 kids under 6:

Try to feed your kids three meals a day preferably not including rugelach as the carb part of the meal. Oh and really do try to avoid cereals that are multi-colored, though one color such as brown is not so bad. When your kids are driving you mad and are flying off the walls, try to not to curse or call them names. If you really must, go to your room and say it to your pillow. If you notice that your pillow doesn't smell too good, it is because you really ought to wash your linen at least once in six months. When you have calmed down, go give the kids a hug and then turn on the longest video you can find. For difficult moments, invest in a time-out stroller where you can strap your kids in until time-out is over. When your husband comes home, he really should be allowed to take his shoes off before you throw a baby with a leaky diaper at him. Be nice to your husband, talk about your hard day for only half an hour before allowing him to share because, I know you won't believe me but he may have had a hard day too (probably not, after all what is more draining than taking care of a bunch of kids?) . Finally, never forget to take care of your own needs by eating large amounts of mint chocolate chip ice cream while watching a movie (kosher of course) and of course, folding the laundry.

From me:

One word. Vodka. While you're making dinner, when the kids are in the bath, in the morning if it's a real bad one. Even Avraham Fried endorses my advice:"Come on everyone and say Lechaim!" So crank up the music, drink a couple shots and dance!