Everybody Lies

My friend, Dr. Gregory House, (ok, everyone is entitled to an imaginary friend), says that everybody lies.

And who is better at making stuff up than mothers? Recently, I was at a PTA meeting, and we were talking about yelling in the house. Wisely I said, "The key is know when you yell and be organized and ready in order to avoid the situation. Like for example, I know that Friday afternoon is a stressful time so I'm usually ready for Shabbos at one."

They were impressed. "Wow," they said, "We wish we could do that."

In my defense, I'd like to be ready at one. I think I even was once ready at one- the week I had a cleaning lady and was invited out for both meals. But anyway, it got me thinking that if I, the most honest person I know, lied, then think of all the untruths all my friends and non friends are saying. All those things I've been jealous of.  All those little statements people say to make themselves sounds like super moms.

"Yeah my kids are all sleeping by 6:30, I just need to have my evening to myself."
"We just don't have candy in the house. My kids don't even know what candy is!"
"My husband cleans the house every night. Including mopping the floor and doing the laundry. He just knows how hard I work."
"I don't need a cleaning lady because my house is always clean."
"My six year old daughter can cook dinner by herself."
"My six year old daughter babysits for hours Sunday morning."
"My six year old daughter can read Hebrew and English and Russian and Portugese fluently."

This is why I choose friends that are honest and blunt. They say things like "I stuck a candy on the wall next to my daughter's bed for her to eat in the morning when she woke up so she wouldn't bother me." Or "I pulled my daughter's hair because she really hurt me!" Aaaaahhh I love my friends. Maybe one day I will even admit to them that at one oclock on a Friday afternoon, my house is upside down and I am yelling at the top of my lungs.